Thursday, October 27, 2011

A random thought about conversing (and the odd things I feel I must slip in...)

So one time my husband and I were on a date (or a non-date if you read this post about us being just friends) with another couple. We were talking about Hawaii, and I slipped in a little tidbit that went something like this, "ya, when my parents went there they went to the sugar cane fields," or something like that (because it was pertinent to the conversation). The guy who was the friend of my date turned around and looked at me and said this: "That sounded like you just said that so we would know your parents went to Hawaii."

I laughed it off, but I was kind of offended because I really had been just trying to contribute to the conversation. I mean who cares that my parents had been to Hawaii? Who's parents haven't been to Hawaii?

But tonight, for some reason, I got to thinking about similar conversation situations.

I feel like within each of us is some sort of a need to tell people certain things. Right? Are there some things you seem to tell people all the time (even folks you don't know well enough to?) just because you feel more validated as a person?

Maybe you HAVE to tell people you're a writer.
Maybe you HAVE to tell people you were a foster parent for triplets.
Maybe you HAVE to tell people you have an eleventh toe.

I don't know what your little HAVE TO mentions are. But here are mine:

*That I have big babies. I'm not sure if this makes me feel less embarrassed about the torpedo belly I grow every time I get pregnant or what. But I find myself slipping this in conversations all the time. And just because I can't resist, here it is: 9 pounds; 8 pounds 4 ounces; 9 pounds 6 ounces; and 9 pounds 6 ounces. Aaahhh how wonderful that feels (writing it, that is, not giving birth to it). Now don't you think I'm more of a woman? And maybe you'll forgive my wide hips? Ahem, anywho...

*That two of my children are close. They are 17 months and two days apart to be exact. Is this CRAZY close? No. Not really. I'm sure some of you have kids who are a year apart. In fact, a girl in my ward is like nine months apart from one of her siblings. But for some reason I feel validated by this statement. (And I even tend to exaggerate it to 16 months sometimes.) Because yes, that three days difference would really explain so much...... I know. I am certifiably insane.

*That I've been skydiving. See my ABOUT ME PAGE as case in point. Was it a blast? Yes! Would I ever do it again? Probably not because that one bone I had that used to be brave was forever lost when I plopped out a placenta and became a mother. Did I mention that was a pound too? Oh I digress.

*Money. This one makes me mad. Because I don't like when people talk about money. And I don't meet people on the street and say, "hey guess what? Our mortgage is xxxx per month" or anything embarrassing like that. But when I get around my besties or my family, money stuff (or the lack of it) seems to come out of my mouth a lot. I want to quit this. Make me stop.

*One odd thing I tend NOT to slip into conversations is that I am an author. This is terrifying to me for some reason (and could be a contributor to my book sales. Hmmm...).

So I'm hoping that by slipping these things into this blog, I can learn to refrain from slipping them into real-life conversations from here on out. In reality I am not a great converse-er. In high school and college I was outgoing and popular. I talked to lots of people. Then I married Mr. Shy and instead of me making him a Chatty Chatterson, he has molded me into a more sidelines kinda gal. These days I get all sweaty and nervous and fill the lulls in conversation with crazy stuff:

"Oh, did you say you grew cucumbers this year?....... That reminds me of my nine and a half pound baby."

What do you slip in to conversations? Do you wish you could quit this.


Cassie Mae said...

Lol. I love your tidbits you can't resist sharing. :)

Kristin Baker Przybyla said...

I'm painfully shy, so when I'm trying to appear friendly and witty in conversation, I end up word vomiting all over the person I'm talking to. SO much useless trivia comes flying out of my mouth, and I only make it worse when I realize I'm doing it!

Chantele Sedgwick said...

Great post! :) I used to be outgoing in high school as well. Then I got married and had a few kids. I don't talk to anyone but my kids all day, so I've sort of lost the outgoingness. My hubby will talk to anyone anywhere though. He's helping me get out there again. lol :)

i'm erin. said...

Oh I love all these! If I was a published author I'd be telling everyone I knew and those I didn't. I love that you have big babies...and I think it's ok to talk about money when it involves a sweet deal you found. I am so happy when friends share great deals!

Rebecca H. Jamison said...

Hilarious! I could say some of the same things about myself (biggest baby 10 lb. 4 oz.) Some of my friends apologize for the things they tell me, but I'm always just happy to be talking to an adult. I love random information.

kasey @ The Beautiful Thrifty Life said...

Yeah, I definitely have those things I feel I need to slip into conversations, but they change depending on what's going on in my life. The question you've got me asking myself is why do I feel the need to do it?

Lately it's been my book...but mostly because it's been so much on my mind lately and I've been anxious about it and yet excited at the same time, so I've just wanted to talk about it, mostly I think to make it real to myself- I am writing a book. I am submitting this book to a publisher. It will probably get rejected, but if it doesn't then it could get published. I could be a real author. For real.

It's funny b/c at first I thought maybe I talked about it to brag, but I don't really talk about my actual accomplishments, like stories I've had accepted for publication or writing contests I've won. I actually feel weird when people bring them up, because I just don't really know what to say when people start gushing about how talented I am...umm...thanks? How many times can I say "thank you"? I guess because I know I still have a really long way to go...

The other thing I talk about a lot is my kids and the funny things they do. Mostly because they make me happy and I think they're great.

So with all that, I think that the things I feel like I need to slip into conversation are the things that make me happy. Because who doesn't like to talk about things that make them happy and excited? And I want to share my happiness and excitement with people! So I guess that's not so bad.

Wow, LONG comment from me. Thanks for helping me work all that out! :-) Oh, and I totally still have a belly. I look more pregnant than people who are actually pregnant (unless I suck, which I do pretty much all the time) and I've only had 3 and they weren't even that big!

Bonnie R. Paulson said...

who is that guy? I'm gonna pound him a new one!

hugs and I put one of your tidbits in my post today.


Brittany said...

* I'm from Idaho originally.
* I puked a lot with each of my pregnancies.

I haven't told very many people that I'm trying to write a book. Just in case I don't actually finish. Although if people are expecting it that could be motivation to finish.

You, however, should tell everyone you are a published author.

Peggy Eddleman said...

Haha! This is hilarious! I'm sure there are things I slip in... and since I can't seem to think what they are, I'm likely to go on doing it over and over and over...

Sari said...

...and I hope you add that all 36+ pounds of babies were not C-section. Yikes!

I have to tell everyone that my daughter has published a book!

Love you Mags

Cassie Mae said...

I left you an award on my blog :)

Katie Dodge said...

Ha ha! Love it. :) When I'm talking with someone, I always want to slip in the fact that I'm a writer, but rarely do. It's always in my mind as we're speaking, but when they ask what I've been up to, I never say it. My family is a different story and I'm sure they are so sick of me talking about my book. Poor family. :)