So one time my husband and I were on a date (or a non-date if you read this post about us being just friends) with another couple. We were talking about Hawaii, and I slipped in a little tidbit that went something like this, "ya, when my parents went there they went to the sugar cane fields," or something like that (because it was pertinent to the conversation). The guy who was the friend of my date turned around and looked at me and said this: "That sounded like you just said that so we would know your parents went to Hawaii."
I laughed it off, but I was kind of offended because I really had been just trying to contribute to the conversation. I mean who cares that my parents had been to Hawaii? Who's parents haven't been to Hawaii?
But tonight, for some reason, I got to thinking about similar conversation situations.
I feel like within each of us is some sort of a need to tell people certain things. Right? Are there some things you seem to tell people all the time (even folks you don't know well enough to?) just because you feel more validated as a person?
Maybe you HAVE to tell people you're a writer.
Maybe you HAVE to tell people you were a foster parent for triplets.
Maybe you HAVE to tell people you have an eleventh toe.
I don't know what your little HAVE TO mentions are. But here are mine:
*That I have big babies. I'm not sure if this makes me feel less embarrassed about the torpedo belly I grow every time I get pregnant or what. But I find myself slipping this in conversations all the time. And just because I can't resist, here it is: 9 pounds; 8 pounds 4 ounces; 9 pounds 6 ounces; and 9 pounds 6 ounces. Aaahhh how wonderful that feels (writing it, that is, not giving birth to it). Now don't you think I'm more of a woman? And maybe you'll forgive my wide hips? Ahem, anywho...
*That two of my children are close. They are 17 months and two days apart to be exact. Is this CRAZY close? No. Not really. I'm sure some of you have kids who are a year apart. In fact, a girl in my ward is like nine months apart from one of her siblings. But for some reason I feel validated by this statement. (And I even tend to exaggerate it to 16 months sometimes.) Because yes, that three days difference would really explain so much...... I know. I am certifiably insane.
*That I've been skydiving. See my ABOUT ME PAGE as case in point. Was it a blast? Yes! Would I ever do it again? Probably not because that one bone I had that used to be brave was forever lost when I plopped out a placenta and became a mother. Did I mention that was a pound too? Oh I digress.
*Money. This one makes me mad. Because I don't like when people talk about money. And I don't meet people on the street and say, "hey guess what? Our mortgage is xxxx per month" or anything embarrassing like that. But when I get around my besties or my family, money stuff (or the lack of it) seems to come out of my mouth a lot. I want to quit this. Make me stop.
*One odd thing I tend NOT to slip into conversations is that I am an author. This is terrifying to me for some reason (and could be a contributor to my book sales. Hmmm...).
So I'm hoping that by slipping these things into this blog, I can learn to refrain from slipping them into real-life conversations from here on out. In reality I am not a great converse-er. In high school and college I was outgoing and popular. I talked to lots of people. Then I married Mr. Shy and instead of me making him a Chatty Chatterson, he has molded me into a more sidelines kinda gal. These days I get all sweaty and nervous and fill the lulls in conversation with crazy stuff:
"Oh, did you say you grew cucumbers this year?....... That reminds me of my nine and a half pound baby."
What do you slip in to conversations? Do you wish you could quit this.